Ezekiel Lott
I eat produce. I do not eat leopards.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
That morning, Ezekiel awoke to a familiar smell: the smell of fresh flesh. In the midst of the storm the night before it seemed that two of the residents of Watershed Heights had ended up dead at the base of the building, each on their own side. One of them was a local nun. Ezekiel believed that Jesus must have been responsible for her death. Christains always say that Jesus taught by example, and Jesus was a Jew. Hence, the example he set was being a faithful Jew. Ezekiel had gotten one thing right. The other dead person was a man. Ezekiel could tell from his years of hunting leopards that the man had been shot - properly executed by one bullet under the chin. This man had comitted suicide. At least Ezekeil hadn't lost all hope yet, for he still had hope enough to live, to go outside and survey the dead people surrounding his apartment building. And with those realizations, Ezekiel Lott suddenly felt wonderful. He had done something correctly - something enough to not have died. With that he walked on to what would go down in history as one of the happiest days of his life.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Now that Ezekiel had completed his leopard dice, he decided to take a walk looking for the man in the jaguar. But before he could even make it down to the lobby of Watershed Heights, the power went out. Ezekiel would not have noticed, except that the single light at the top of the stairs stopped flickering and went out completely. As Ezekiel walked out into the daylight, he was greeted with the strangest smell - shepherds pie. He could, of course, not eat the pie he smelled (in fact, he could not eat any type of pie), although he knew the smell was coming from a small shop that still had power around the corner. So because he could not eat the pies, he walked away from their smell. As he turned around, he saw another man walking away from the pies. Another vegan perhaps? Or surely a vegetarian a least, because the smell of shepherds pie was overwhelming the city. And with that, Ezekiel set off to follow the other man.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Deena's 28 Hour Diner is the only place in town that has specifically vegan food. It was just a fruit salad, but it was advertised as the "Vegan Special of the Day" every day. Unfortunately, the people who went to Deena's 28 Hour Diner were about as bland as their fruit salads. On this particular trip to the diner, Ezekiel noticed two men who were most likely under the influence of drugs. He did everything in his power not to throw up as he watched these men gobble down their bacon, eggs, and cheese. Those poor pigs, chickens, and cows... Ezekiel ate his fruit salad and tried to forget the image of bacon. Instead, he focused on making a leopard skin steering wheel cover for the owner of the jaguar.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Ezekiel Lott woke up and decided to make a name for himself. He was running low on money, so he needed to start selling his leopard skin goods again. As he filled a bag with various leopard goods, Ezekiel began to work on his sales pitch: "... and for the low price of just 8.22, I'll double my offer! That's right, not just one but 2 headbands..."
When he walked around outside, Ezekiel noticed a woman sitting on a bench near the playground. "Hello ma'am, can I intrest you in some leopard skin accessories? I think they would really bring out your eyes..." Without so much as eye contact, the woman got up and left, following another woman who appeared to have fallen into a vat of black ink. With his spirits dampened, Ezekiel took the first womans spot on the bench and watched as sopmeone drove away with a broken ATM.
When he walked around outside, Ezekiel noticed a woman sitting on a bench near the playground. "Hello ma'am, can I intrest you in some leopard skin accessories? I think they would really bring out your eyes..." Without so much as eye contact, the woman got up and left, following another woman who appeared to have fallen into a vat of black ink. With his spirits dampened, Ezekiel took the first womans spot on the bench and watched as sopmeone drove away with a broken ATM.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Ezekiel stared as the car roared by. A jaguar. Was this some kind of cruel joke? Perhaps the driver would like some leopard accessories to go with his jaguar. Or maybe, Ezekiel could order some jaguar skin. This man surely wants a steering wheel cover or a pair of fuzzy dice to hang from his rearview mirror as he drives around Watershed Heights taunting those who don't have Jaguars (the cars or the cats). By the time Exekiel had finished his train of thought, the car was no where to be seen. In its place was a large fire near the carnival. The fire smelled like burning hair and plastic. Ezekiel hoped that the clown who had not allowed him to enter the carnival somehow got caught in the fire. Everyone knows the two most important parts of being a clown are the hair and the plastic shoes.
Friday, March 25, 2011
It was a nice day in Watershed Heights, which was quite a rare occurrence. A carnival had just pulled into town, bringing with it strange people, a faint smell of mildew, and stale popcorn. Ezekiel had not had an popcorn in quite some time, and he was curious if it was still as salty as he remembered. As Ezekiel headed to the carnival, he saw the town mutt. Lucky was surprisingly well fed considering that he had no real owner. He wasn't a fat dog, but he wasn't about to starve. Ezekiel often wondered if he could make Lucky into an article of clothing - perhaps a hat or a purse. Although he had never worked with dogs, they couldn't be too different from leopards. But Ezekiel was quick to cast this thought out of his mind, as he no longer got his income that way. He arrived at the carnival, but could not walk under the rusty sign, because just then, a clown whose makeup was clearly happier than the man underneath told him that this was not in fact an entrance but an exit.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Being a vegan in the small town of Watershed Heights was wearing down Ezekiel. The "food" received from Foo Food could hardly be qualified as food at all. It had about as much nutrition as dirt. Ezekiel noticed that there was a run down garden on the roof when he originally moved in. He would have taken a plot for himself to grow some vegetables but he did not want to socialize with the crazy people who use rooftop gardens. Perhaps if he got some seeds somewhere he would consider a plot. He had lost quite a bit of weight since moving here.
After the incident in the synagogue Ezekiel realized that there were very few sane people here. He was convinced that there must be someone else who understood his hatred of his new home. So, although he was shy, and he feared running into more people who disturbed him, Ezekiel set out to find a companion. Luckily, a carnival was coming to town soon. Then he could survey all of the characters living here.
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